Loving is all About Sacrificing 

PAUL R. ARUHO 

Ken called me early this week to tell me of what was going into his mind. In the next one month, Ken is getting marries to his long-time girlfriend Trassy. They have been dating for the last three years and on an agreement, they have decided to take their relationship to another level, marriage and starting a family. 

This came to me as good news because I have known these two young people for some time, and more so, that they have been a relationship. I was happy for them because they would make a good couple (this is my sincere observation). As Ken talked to me on phone, his voice wasn’t the same as the one I have known of him. He sounded scared of what was going on and what all this meant to the life he has led for years. We discussed a number of things about what he will expect as he starts a family. But the most important issue that stood out was what he will lose when Trassy comes to live with him under one roof. 

To cut the story short, we were in agreement that both of them will have to let go of some things (mostly what they love). The word sacrifice has got a number of meanings. But one of them is giving up something valued for the sake of other considerations. Love is all about sacrifice. It is about giving up a number of things you have held dear for some time. Some people sacrifice friends, jobs, family, personal habits, to mention a few for the sake of love. 

Love is good, it is beautiful fall in love. It is a good feeling to be loved. Even God had to sacrifice his son Jesus Christ for the love He had for mankind. The bible tells us that for God so loved the world that He sent His only begotten son that whoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life, (John 3:16, KJV). This is how far God went to secure his relationship with the people He created. He sacrificed His son, sent him to this troubled world for the sake of our sinful nature, such that we are accepted in His presence. In marriage, couples who fail the test of sacrificing a thing or two for the sake of their spouses finds it difficult to have a meaningful life. 

As we are growing up in different families, we are shaped by the environment we grow in. We grow in different worlds even if you get married to a close neighbor. Families have got different values they treasure and hold dear, which are instilled in children. This therefore, makes us different. However, these differences are the ones that bring a man and woman together. You will never get attracted to a person similar to you. As we have always been told that unlike poles attract each other. There is need to work on these differences for the good of your marriage. 

Sacrifice in marriage should never be forced or imposed on someone. For example, never force your spouse to stop drinking alcohol. In doing this, you will use a lot of effort and most likely, break or become unsuccessful. If you find a vice in in your spouse that you don’t approve, never try to coerce him/her to leave it. But in this weakness, try to make him/her understand how bad it is affecting his/her life. Do it with and or in love. 

When couples are being wedded in church, they swear to live together in good or bad situations. But many people give up when they are going through tough times. In such times, allow yourselves to go through them together. Talk with love about the issues that concern your marriage. There shouldn’t be a blame game, but instead look at the gains and loses together. Never try to work in isolation. Your spouse is your companion in this life’s journey which you need to walk together. As the Bible says, can two walk together except they be agreed, (Amos 3:3, KJV). 

You need to agree to walk together and this involves a lot. Accept to let go of the number of things that you love, that won’t take you along with your friend. However, this should be done with a lot of care. It should be done putting into consideration of your spouse’s feelings. What you sacrifice should be for the benefit for both of you. It shouldn’t be done while hurting the other person. 

There is need to strike a balance such that one party does not feel to be sacrificing a lot than the other for the sake of a relationship. 

 Wish Ken and Trassy the best of sacrificing for love.